Andrea McLean, “The Loose Women” presenter opened up in her new book “This Girl Is On Fire“.She revealed how she broke down in front of makeup artist Donna last year.Andrea McLEAN described how her brain and body were constantly whirring with stress.She also detailed her horrific anxiety in places such as the supermarket.
Andrea McLean reveals the devastating battle she’s been hiding
My friend Donna rubbed my back as tears of humiliation, embarrassment and, weirdly, relief ran down my cheeks. ‘What do you want?’ she asked me.
‘It can’t be this because it isn’t working for you. At. All.
‘You’re running yourself ragged, getting tied up in knots trying to do everything and be everything — and for what?
‘You’re making yourself ill and I’m worried about you.
‘You need to stop. Now.‘
It was 10am on a warm summer’s morning last year, and I was supposed to be sitting in a make-up chair being made beautiful before hosting the live TV show Loose Women in front of millions of viewers. (Andrea McLEAN)
Instead, I was sitting in a make-up chair crying all over make-up artist Donna, who had decided, as friends do, that enough was enough. Someone needed to tell me that I was headed straight for a brick wall — that I had become unrecognisable not only to her, but to myself. (Andrea McLEAN)
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I couldn’t deny it or try to hide it any longer: I was having a nervous breakdown.Now I can see that it had been brewing for a long time. (Andrea McLEAN)
My brain and body were constantly whirring with stress — and although I’d been on anti-anxiety medication since December 2018, I was still on edge. Tiny things tipped me over it.(Andrea McLEAN)
That Christmas, I broke down in my car in a supermarket car park because a driver beeped at me for waiting for someone to pull out. (Andrea McLEAN)
The man zoomed past me, shouting and gesticulating and, after I’d parked the car, I switched off the engine and sobbed into my hands.(Andrea McLEAN)
In the store, as I walked up and down the aisles, the only way I could manage to get through the terrible anxiety was to concentrate on my breathing.(Andrea McLEAN)
If I could breathe in and out again, I’d make it through six seconds, then through 12 seconds, and eventually I’d survive a minute.
And if I managed to survive such an awful minute, then maybe I could survive another one.
At work, I could feel my colleagues standing back from me, beginning to wonder what was wrong.
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In January, for the first time in 13 years of hosting Loose Women, I realised I couldn’t face going to the National Television Awards with all the other girls, even though it’s normally the highlight of our social calendar and we have such fun getting ready together.(Andrea McLEAN)
I knew it would be too loud, too much. Instead, I got into my party dress alone and cried in the car all the way there.
I posed for two pictures on the red carpet, then literally ran away from the cameras. As soon as I possibly could, I slipped out and left.
The stress became physical. I was throwing up. Not sleeping. Consumed with anxiety.
At my lowest point, I was suicidal. This is the first time I’ve admitted that.(Andrea McLEAN)
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