There are two contrasting sides of Ellie Goulding represented on her new album Brightest Blue.While the first half reflects her vulnerability, the second shows off her confidence.
Ellie Goulding reveals her vulnerable yet confident personality in new album
In the second part of exclusive interview for The Sun from her home in Oxford — where she has been isolating with art dealer husband Caspar Jopling, 28 — Ellie Goulding is reflecting on the time she spent writing Brightest Blue, her fourth studio album, and how it has helped her come to terms with a #MeToo incident that happened when she was starting out.
Ellie Goulding, who found fame after winning the Critics’ Choice award at the 2010 Brits, says: “A photographer started to say inappropriate things and was focused on my body and face and I thought it didn’t seem right to me.
“I was upset with the way he was acting towards me. I was too scared to say anything but on the way home to Hereford I knew it was wrong.
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“I didn’t know if I could do another photoshoot and deal with men saying s**t to me like that.”
“That was when my anxiety began. I had anxiety attacks where I couldn’t leave the house and I didn’t feel I fitted in anywhere. I guess it goes back to school where you just want to be part of that cool gang and you are not.
Getting to where I am now is something I’ve thought about a lot in the past two years. I’ve gained confidence through all my experiences and I’ve come out of it with a new respect for myself and strength in my independence and the fact I’ve gone through a lot.”
That incident is something that has played on Ellie Goulding’s mind for years, and it is only now she has been able to process it. In lockdown, just a few days before our chat, she wrote an essay about her experience and how it affected her for a long time.
Ellie Goulding says: “I’ve thought about it a lot. Because I feel like when I first asked if I was affected, I said no because I was too scared even then to admit that I definitely had been.
There are definitely things at the beginning of my career that would absolutely be no way acceptable right now. I think the #MeToo movement has been a huge part of that and I am so grateful for it.
“The movement drew a lot of attention to the fact that there were a lot of things happening in the acting industry and also in the music industry.”
Ellie Goulding, “Brightest Blue“
Describing her album, Goulding says Brightest Blue “is my observations of relationships, heartbreak, love and human behaviour”. She adds that songwriting has been her therapy and helped her cope with her anxieties.
Photo Gallery (Source The Sun)
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